used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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