Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
