My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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