No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
