Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
