How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
