My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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