I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
