Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
