battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
