Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
