This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
