he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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