today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
