it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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