idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You had me at "let me see your balls"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
