I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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