Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
