PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
