I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
