he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize