I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
