I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
