Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
