when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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