all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
