Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Someone shattered a urinal.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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