Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
