that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's never too late to be topless.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
