That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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