You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
