My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
