no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
