just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
