i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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