Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
