Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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