wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
