I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
