I will die if light touches me.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize