just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
