Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
