I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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