When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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