OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
