I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
