He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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