My hand turned me down
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
