I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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