fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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