Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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