we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
