Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
