after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
