I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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