What a fucking waste of an outfit
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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