Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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