Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
