If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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