# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
