take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
