i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
